Somatic Coaching: Part 2

Interoception helps explain one of the most frustrating parts of being human: why intelligent, capable people sometimes struggle to do something they already know they should do. We avoid difficult conversations, put off uncomfortable questions, or tolerate situations we've already decided need to change. If knowledge alone determined our actions, those moments wouldn't exist.

It's easy to assume the answer is discipline. Just make the call. Ask the question. Have the conversation.

But your brain is doing more than evaluating facts. It's also using past experiences to predict what might happen next. Before a contractor calls a homeowner with bad news, or a homeowner raises a concern, the brain may already be anticipating conflict, disappointment, or blame.

Those predictions affect your body. Your breathing becomes shallow, your shoulders tighten, and your stomach knots. Your brain interprets those sensations as additional information, creating a feedback loop in which the prediction influences the body, and the body's response reinforces the prediction.

This is why knowing and doing sometimes become separated. Logically, you understand what needs to happen. Physiologically, your nervous system is preparing for what it believes might happen. Your body isn't working against you. It's trying to protect you based on what your brain has learned.

Construction provides plenty of opportunities for these patterns to develop. A delay isn't simply a delay when someone must deliver disappointing news and someone else is wondering when their home will be finished. Before anyone begins solving the problem, both sides may already be anticipating a difficult interaction.

Over time, your nervous system can begin anticipating problems before they happen.

The phone rings and your stomach tightens. An email arrives and your first thought is, What now? Your nervous system becomes increasingly practiced at preparing for difficult conversations, unexpected expenses, and disappointing news. What began as useful protection can eventually become a habitual response, even when the circumstances no longer require it.

Fortunately, these predictions aren't permanent. The brain continues learning from new experiences. A difficult conversation doesn't become a fight. A concern is taken seriously. Bad news is met with understanding. Each unexpected positive outcome gives the brain new information.

Eventually, something we know intellectually can begin to feel true as well. If the nervous system can learn to protect us from past experiences, it can also learn when that protection is no longer necessary.

That's where somatic coaching comes in.